Rambles

So yeah. I have a huge test in two days. Vestibular for Fuvest. 

It's a five hour test. Not something I'm going to enjoy. At all.

But I've been thinking about what it means to me. You see, as someone in between high school and college, I'm no one. I have no life. My existance is just in between two phases. I'm something in between a 0 and a 1. But nothing.

My friends are all far away, yet I'm not in an environment to make close ones.

My daily life consists of studying non-stop.

My only sanity derives from sometimes playing tennis on weekends and reading books.

And truthfully, this is the first time in years where I'm no where near anyone who actually cares about me or for me. Excluding my parents of course.

I knows emo. But trust me it's not. I don't need attention, even though some would disagree. I enjoy the company of close friends, but I can live without it. And I guess being single for a while is healthy. God knows how horrible it was to be going in and out of relationships in high school, not that I don't want to date. It's just soothing to have this break from all the drama of having lot's of people around me all the time. Then again, high school in a boarding school was my best decision EVER.

I dont know where i'm going with this, but still... this is my first real posting on the blog. Other than the poems that is. 

I really liked writing them. Sometimes I'm in class and I just start being inspired. That's why i use the word Muse so much. But still, there are some real muses in my life. People that have inspired me to write poetry. They know who they are. Hopefully.

Where was I? Oh yeah... Stuck between two worlds. 

Poema

Me de uma razão para acordar

Cesse meu descanso nesta noite sem fim

Estou cansado de sonhar

Quando sei que a realide é que estas longe de mim

Meus olhos não querem mais abrir

Sabendo que ao meu lado esta um vão

Por mais que tente, não consigo sair

Desta triste hibernação

Me acorde

Me acuda

Minha amada

Minha musa

Mostre me que em meu corpo ainda bate um coração

Que se torna, ao ver te, saltitante

Um poeta pulsante

Que com versos errantes

Tenta explicar o seu amor

O meu sangue é a rima

Minhas veias uma canção

Que sobe à minha mente

Para transcreve-la com minha mão

Entendas que meu corpo, poeta por natureza

Recusa á trabalhar

Por não ter o seu ar

Não pode funcionar

Sem ver tua beleza

Não sou belo adormecido

Para acordar-me não basta um beijo

Cante-me uma canção

Que eu reconheça tua divina voz

Que o sono cesse de ser meu algoz

Que eu acorde para ver que os anjos atenderam o meu desejo.

So.... I wrote another poem in portuguese, but I've decided not to post it yet. I'm thinking about where i want to go with this blog. I mean, what should i do? Post my opinions? Comment about stuff? There is so much to do, yet the variety is constricting. I think it's because i'm not really free. I have a lot of studying to do, and it sort of makes it hard to be creative. But whatever. I'll figure something out. There just isnt anything going on that i want to comment on or talk about. In a couple of days i'll post the second poem, and then soon i hope i'll have more topics to talk about. Till then this will be sort of empty.

soneto

Sinto philos por ti, minha amiga

pois voce sempre esteve lá por mim

ao seu lado me sinto a vontade,

sonho sempre com te rever emfim.

Sinto storge por ti, tens meu respeito

pois es tao boa e carinhosa

e admiro tudo que tens feito

por isso nao te escrevo em prosa.

Sinto eros por ti, musa cantante

pois me perco nos teus olhos tao belos

meu coraçao fica saltitante

e suspiro olhando os seus cabelos.

E destes tres amores impuros

emerge agappe: o amor puro.

planos

estou com preguiça de ficar escrevendo no blog, mas nao quero desistir dele. entao vou usa-lo para mostrar a minha poesia por enquanto. escrevo em ingles ou em portugues. vou digitar um poema em portugues meu amanha.